Posted by: dinainsuburbia | December 20, 2010

bah…

Five days ’til Christmas and I wonder.. why do I do this to myself?  Why do I overload myself with social engagements, Christmas activities, and other ‘traditions” that leave me short of time and patience?

Five days ’til the big day and I still have so much to do:  shopping, wrapping, baking… and I wonder why all of this HAS to be done?  Why do we have to buy presents for every person we ever said “hello” to?  Why do we have to over indulge our children with presents they probably wont’ play with for more than 5 minutes anyway?

In the middle of all of this I have 2 sick kids.. and I think, all I really want to do is leisurely bake a dozen or two cookies with my daughter instead of feeling obligated to bake 16 dozen for my husband’s co-workers- packaged and bowed!

Between working six days a week, and dealing with all of these obligations, my patience is worn down to an all time low.  I feel horrible and mean-spirited when I snap at my children and my mother so lovingly told me that I’m, “going down in a ball of flames” (thanks for the vote of confidence… sheesh).

I wonder, when did it happen that I felt the need to be perfection for everyone.. and at what point did I lose myself and my own sense of happiness in the process?  In general, I feel like a happy person, but then I become ridiculously overwhelmed by the ever-growing lists of things to be accomplished and I wonder- why do I even NEED to accomplish all this “stuff”?  Can I just be the type of person (mother/wife) that does NONE of it?  Like the people me and my family make fun of because they do none of it?  But THEY seem a lot more better off right now than I!!!

Has anyone out there cut down on the “stuff” in an attempt to find themselves and make themselves happier (and heck, sane?)…

I have two options- I need to lower everyone’s expectations of me or I’m going to have to medicate myself to get through it all… which way to go?

 

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