Posted by: dinainsuburbia | June 18, 2010

grandpa z

How do you eulogize someone that you didn’t have much of a relationship with?  I suppose it’s much easier to have a relationship with maternal grandparents than paternal; there is something in the primal relationship of mother-to-daughter.  The recognition of the mystery of child birth, I think, makes the relationship between mother and daughter, and grandmother and granddaughter that much closer.

The past few days I’ve thought more about Grandpa Z… about my relationship with him, and my feelings about him and his death.  As I’ve said previously, it’s so easy to take people for granted… even just their sheer existence in this world.  When you’re used to having them here, it’s inconceivable that one day, they won’t be.

I keep coming back to what I posted the other day, “On Children”:

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

If anything, Grandpa Z was the bow… stable and rigid- sometimes too much so.. he might not have been the most outwardly demonstrative person, and he certainly waxed long-and-lengthy on politics (none of which I EVER agreed with).. but, nevertheless, he was one of the bows of the family, leaving an amazing legacy:  7 children, 15 grandchildren, and 9 great-grandchildren (I think I got everyone)…

I’ve been thinking about all the personal interactions I’ve ever had with Grandpa and I keep coming back to one particular moment in time.  I can’t exactly remember when this took place- I *think* I went to visit Grandma & Grandpa while I was at college (about 30 minutes away) and as I was on my way out, Grandpa said he was proud of me.  Definitely one of those “life moments” I will treasure forever.

The last time I saw Grandpa was Easter- his last holiday.  He was able to meet my son, Joel, and I know that meant a lot to my dad.  Of course Grandpa, the king of inappropriate, asked me if I was breastfeeding, to which I replied “no.”  His response?  “What, your husband doesn’t want to share them?”

Nice, grandpa, nice…



  1. Dina,
    I enjoyed what you honestly felt about my dad. You were so dead on. I just want you to know what you mean to me. I am so proud, happy and elated that you have been able to stay a part of my life. You are like a breath of fresh air whenever i am around you. I am so happy that your parents worked things out so that both families were able to have a part in your life. I love you. Aunt Nee

    • Thanks Aunt Nee- I love you too!!!!

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