Posted by: dinainsuburbia | May 3, 2010

getting her nasty on.

Before you get all excited, this has nothing to do with what you THINK it has to do with.  I know you people and your minds are definitely in the gutter!

Over the past few weeks Maddie has gotten more and more fresh towards me.  During the week, she’s usually tolerable, but the moment John comes home, it’s the Daddy show.  Now, I normally don’t mind the onus being on John.  On the days I DO work, it’s nice to have a break when he finally gets home.  On the days I don’t work…. well.. lets just say I am in desperate NEED of him taking over.  Otherwise this family could possibly be without one member…. and no, I’m not talking about the furry variety (although, as an aside, I caught Maca trying to take a shit/piss hybrid- don’t ask- in the cardboard half-box the AriZona iced tea cans come in when we buy by the case- I was in such a mood from being verbally abused by a 3 1/2 year old all weekend, that I picked Maca up by the scruff and threw her out the front door- and left her there for five hours.. yes, it felt unbelievably satisfying).

Today, though, Maddie hit a new low and actually said she didn’t love me anymore.. although I’m sort of surprised she hadn’t spat that one out at me sooner.  Of course I know she doesn’t mean it.. and she is, after all, only 3 1/2.. but shit it STUNG!  I know, though, that it’s my sentence for having a girl.  And if Maddie only gives it to me half as much as I gave it to my mother… I. AM. FUCKED… because seriously, I had (shit, still do) a forked tongue and I shudder when I remember some of the awful things I said to my mom.

My mother, though, being a rather wise lady once said to me, “if they don’t tell you that they hate you, then you aren’t doing your job.”  I’ll never forget that.. although I’m sure she didn’t mean this to begin at 3 1/2 years old!

I feel like I am constantly correcting her or saying no.  And I don’t like it one bit.  I feel bad for the kid, I really do, but somedays I just don’t know how to get her to listen.  It’s as if she literally shut her ears off… I’ve heard from very good friends that 3 is just a super tough year.. and if that is true, it’s certainly come to fruition these last few weeks.

I know it isn’t just me because John’s having a hard time with her too and he’s basically the messiah around here.. so if she’s giving HIM the business I know for sure it isn’t just me.

All this does, though, is to thoroughly remind me how lacking I am in the patience department.  For a while I toyed around with getting the word “patience” tattooed on the inside of my wrist.. that’s how desperately I want more of it.. but I realized that it probably wouldn’t work… and I’d probably look like a poser idiot because I certainly don’t look like the type of chic that has a tattoo on the inside of her wrist.

I suppose though, this is all just opportunity to practice being patient.. now, how to remind myself to actually ACT on it instead of being that, “yelling mom”….

So you parents… how do YOU remember to be patient and not a  yeller?



  1. Whoever concocted the idea of “Terrible Twos” had clearly not lived through ages 3 or 4 yet. My 4 1/2 year old daughter not only does not love me on a semi-regular basis, she’s actively plotting escape to a new family. I hope they’re prepared to sign the “no backsies” clause.

    Seriously, girls are tough. Your mom is right. I have no answer to the patience question, but if someone offers up a successful technique they can back up with actual, kid-tested field data, please post in ALL CAPS with at least four exclamation points 😉

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