Posted by: dinainsuburbia | March 31, 2010


It is absolutely impossible for me to get out of the house on time.  Someone ALWAYS needs something: a drink, to pee, just “one more toy” to bring in the car (yeah, because there isn’t enough shit covering the back seat- lets add more!).

On mornings when John is out of town, it is even harder.  I have to somehow catch a shower while Joel naps- usually exactly 1 1/2 hours after he first wakes up.  He is a terrible napper, unless he’s laying on someone or being cuddled, so I really only have about 15 minutes to shower.  So much for getting in a hot shower to relax!  Inevitably, once I’m out of the shower, Maddie wakes up demanding something to drink and a “show” (Team Oomi Zoomi is her fav right now).  Of course, me stomping up and down the stairs wakes Joel from his cat nap, and I spend the next half hour entertaining him whilst applying my makeup and doing my hair.  I never knew how good I was at making up songs.. about anything… but it does the trick.

So this morning we set a record.. all 3 of us were ready to leave the house at 9.30!  I honestly don’t think I can do it any faster… and I was all accessorized to boot!  So I open my front door and what do I see?  A FLAT TIRE!  I was sooo pissed off, because of COURSE John is out of town, and my mom was on a gig, so I had no one to help me deal!  I had to do a deep breathing technique so as not to freak out.  I cooly (more so due to the damn wind, not my temperament) walked over to check the tire and saw a bolt in the side wall.  Seriously, a BOLT in the side wall. 

Either someone really hates me, OR I somehow ran over the bolt in such a way that it wedged in the sidewall- I heard that can happen.. you know, physics or some shit like that (never DID get around to taking physics).  Probably the later.. I can’t imagine anyone in my complex hates me that much and we are in the middle of construction/renovations.. there are screws/bolts/nails all over the place.  You’d think my landlord would do a clean up, right? 

I called my brother and begged him to come over and put the spare on, so I could drop the tire off to be replaced (such a waste, only 5,000 miles on the car and I’m already replacing a tire).  My brother showed up an hour later and took about an hour to get the donut on.. between not reading the manual at first (where to place the jack?) to not being able to work the jack.. it took FOREVER.. but it was comical as hell to watch my brother put the jack up, then down, then up, then down, them up… take the tire off, put it on, off, on- well, you get the idea.

By the time all was said and done, it probably would’ve been faster to call AAA- but it wouldn’t have been as fun!


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