Posted by: dinainsuburbia | July 21, 2009

hormonal and what not

I would be lying if I didn’t fess up and say that this pregnancy has totally made me a head case.  I am really trying to maintain a level head but my mood can turn in an instant- and it’s slightly scary!

Just sitting here trying to think of a fun topic to write about has me stressing.. how ridiculous is that! 

Because I don’t have the emotional fortitude to sit down and come up with something brilliant (like my 4th of July post, seriously- that was good, right?)… I’m just gonna rattle off a list of crap that has been going on or I’ve noticed.

1)  Last week at my perinatologist appointment I was reading a feature in TIME magazine about marriage and came across a quote that was super meaningful to me, and slightly vindicating in the face of all the divorces out there:  “a lasting marriage is the reward, usually, of hard work and self sacrifice.”  I don’t think, as a society, we much have the “stuff” it takes to self sacrifice anymore.  Or, if anything, it isn’t exactly taught to us.  We’ve somehow become an instant gratification society- in addition we always want to be happy.  If we aren’t happy all the time, we move on.  When I read this I thought “a ha!!!” …  I’d like to think John and I have a great marriage- but it certainly isn’t easy and it isn’t always fun.. but it is ALWAYS worth it.

2)  Again at the perinatologist- apparently the blood flow to the placenta isn’t where it should be.  So, if it doesn’t pick up next week, I’ll have to take the Lovenox shots 2 times a day instead of just one.  God help my poor bruised stomach.

3)  Waiting on line today at the McDonald’s drive thru Maddie impatiently demanded that I “go go go”.  I said I couldn’t, we had to wait our turn.  She said, “no mommy it IS our turn.”  I said no, we have to wait.  She said, “mother fuck, what the hell.”  I guess they really ARE sponges.

4)  Speaking of Maddie- she’s just the most delicious little girl- and even though my nerves are completely shot from this pregnancy and I have a really short fuse… she’s SUCH a good girl!  She’s also really super funny (cussing aside) and I’m so proud to be her mama.  I hope I’m not completely ruining her world by giving her a sibling.  I just have visions one day down the road her saying, “mom, what the hell- why’d you have to have another, wasn’t I enough?”  And I guess it’s because she is enough, we were compelled to have another!


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