Posted by: dinainsuburbia | June 25, 2009

insanity

After 6 months of unemployment, my husband is finally back on the job!  He started this week as a National Sales Manager for a non-alcoholic beverage manufacturer.  He’s super excited as he really wanted to get into food/consumer-packaged goods- and now he finally is!

Of course- there is always Ying-and-Yang with life.. and what was my once, looking-back-on-it, easy existence of having a house-husband (who did errands, cleaned, did laundry… how awesome is my husband, right) has been thrown helter-skelter!  The husband has to use our only car to get to work- so I am left to rely on my mother, like an 11 year old, to get rides to and from the shop.   Tuesdays and Thursdays I bring Maddie with me- as I type she’s sleeping behind me on a futon…. snug as a bug all wrapped up like a burrito under the air conditioner. 

Aside from the craziness of not having a car- and trying to figure out when to get to the supermarket, do things I need to do, etc…. I am on Maddie duty from 7:15 am until 7:00 pm (of course, 3 days a week my mom has her from 10:30 to 5:00 which is huuuuggge)…regardless, it is exhausting!

It’s hard living two worlds at once:  the full-time working woman AND the almost-full-time mom.  One or the other is tough- but both at the same time is just mind-blowing.  My house has fallen to shit and smells like a dog’s ass (God I know this sounds awful but can you just make all the pets either go to sleep and not wake up or send some Saint to adopt them?). 

By the time dinner rolls around I am too exhausted- both physically and emotionally- to even give a rat’s ass.. I’m content to feed Maddie whatever she wants and then air pop myself some popcorn and park it in front of season one of True Blood (everyone is right- it’s soooo awesome).  What? Maddie wants M&Ms and chocolate milk for dinner? At least I don’t have to turn on the stove!

I’m sure the whole situation seems even more overwhelming through my emotionally-overloaded pregnant brain…  (God help me if I even get an iota of the slight “baby blues” I got after Maddie ’cause I will seriously go ballistic).  My mom told me to “calm down” this morning as I am negatively effecting my unborn fetus with my stress and I was ready to reach over and start a cat fight…. or cry like a retard… which I did (although honestly, a cat fight would’ve at LEAST gotten rid of some of my pent up aggression.. shit).  Which made me wonder- how the fuck did she act when she was pregnant with me if I am such a basket case?  Probably the same, no?

I know, traditionally, when faced with any type of life change I have to lose my shit for a little while, have a melt down- and then I’m ok.  I’ve been like this for as long as I remember and it is just the way I deal with changes in my day-to-day life.  Is it the best way? Probably not- but I think I’m gonna need a little time to get used to this new routine- and it probably means a lot of cursing, foot stomping and deep breathing routines.

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