Posted by: dinainsuburbia | May 19, 2009

Living Together…

Mylittle (22-year-old) brother has decided he wants to lease an apartment with his (21-year-old) girlfriend.  An error on so many levels, I find it frustrating that my father isn’t, “seeing the light” on this one.  Maybe it’s because he (my father) already has too much on his plate: running a business in these difficult economic times being his primary concern.  I just keep having this nagging feeling that throwing up ones hands and saying, “he’s 22 he’s going to do what he wants” is such a major parental cop-out and a pretty good example of how not to parent.

Of course, I think at 22 my lil’ bro SHOULD be moving out of the house.. SHOULD be paying his own bills.  It’s about time he puts on his big boy panties and ditches the underoos.. but honestly, this isn’t really something he financially can do or is emotionally prepared to do.  When faced with the argument that he should not move in with his girlfriend his argument in support is juvenile..  eventually sounding like my daughter whining for some type of Disney princess doll (I waaannnnt it, I don’t caarrrreee).  Seriously, if you want to do something that others think is unwise, maybe you should be able to put together a sound argument in your favor instead of sounding like a petulant child!

I hope that my brother doesn’t crash and burn here.  That he continues with his schooling and doesn’t let it fall by the wayside in order to afford his share of the rent.  I WANT him to succeed… I just wish it wasn’t co-habitating with a girl.

Of course, I’m totally against living together before marriage- not for religious reasons- but for relationship reasons.  Living with your partner before marriage complicates things.  It adds a whole other layer to the relationship that doesn’t need to be there prior to the ultimate commitment.  In addition, it probably drags out relationships that would have fizzled if the two parties didn’t co-habitate in the first place. 

It has become WAY too hard to not get all “parental” on my siblings.  There is just a HUGE age difference between us… but I think the whole difference was compounded when Maddie was born- throwing me into a different realm of life reality, my life’s focus is really on Maddie and our family.  I know it isn’t fair of me to parent them.. but it is almost like I can’t help it.  I’ve been there!  I can see the mistakes a mile away.  And while I totally understand that they do need to make their own mistakes- I can’t help but want to warn them and shield them. 

This stuff is hard.. there is no rule book or instruction book- I wish there was!  I guess I just have to sit back and see what happens, and not get so worked up about it all!

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