Hence, the new age group term I’ve coined.. fugly fives.  Madeline has quite the sassy mouth.  And that’s putting it nicely.  From the actual words she uses, to the tone, I oftentimes think I am verbally sparring with a 15 year old instead of a five year old.

I’ve tried reasoning with her; explaining that no one wants to be friends with or talk to someone that is nasty to them.  No change.  I’ve yelled at her.  No change.  I’ve threatened consequence.  No change.  

The bottom line? It’s coming full circle.  I know I gave it to my mother pretty good. This is just the universe’s way of coming around!  Funny enough, last week my daughter told my mother, “I don’t want to go home with mommy I’m scared of her.”  You might find this horrific, but I CLEARLY remember telling my own grandmother, “I don’t want to go home with mommy she’s mean to me!”  Was she mean? Of course not!  But.. she did keep me in line (or try to do so).

As my mother has said, if your kid doesn’t tell you they hate you, that probably means you aren’t doing your job! 

I’d like to talk about how increasingly difficult it has become mothering a 5 year old daughter.  Maybe it is because she is in Kindergarten now but she has become increasingly sassy.  In the past, she only “gave it” to me; but here lately, she’s even sticking it to her father!

I think I have to start a “good behavior” chart.  We’ve all read how “positive reinforcement” works.  So, if she does what she is suppose to do, she’ll get a sticker.   Once she gets enough stickers, she’ll get a fun experience or gift- extra park time, special one-on-one time, etc.

So, that’s what I am working on now!  Does anyone have any GREAT experiences working with good behavior charts?  Any tips?

I don’t even want to mention what’s been going on at bed time.  It’s become musical beds.  And I KNOW the answer is just letting them all “cry it out” but it is easier said than done- especially with two.  We tried to let the little guy go at it in his crib the other night, but then he got so hysterical he woke up his sister… and then she started in, and well, who the HELL has that type of fortitude at 2am.  Not me, not my husband.

Maybe the answer is we just have to do a few shots of scotch before bedtime, but on some ear muffs, and hope for the best?  Seriously, thought- we are screwed.  My husband just came behind me and rubbed my shoulders and I thought- oh yeah, that’s right- I have a husband- not just a partner-in-crime that helps me deal with the two rug rats.

From morning to night it is a series of complaints from the four-year-old Tyrant.  It goes something like this:

“mom, Joel moved my kitchen!”

“mom, Joel is touching my tent!” (by the way, yeah thanks Aunt Samantha for the giant Princess tent that at times takes up our entire living room area).

“mom, Joel is breathing”

Well, you get the point…

Then from the little guy something like this:

“eeeehhhhh wah wah wah argh” at the top of his lungs.

Not pretty.

And really, I do feel bad because seriously Maddie should be able to play by herself without her lil’brother getting in the middle of everything.. but I’m not sure what to do here.  What is parenting protocol?  Do I tell her to deal?  That he’s gonna muck it all up?  ’Cause you know- what big sister is doing- brother wants to do, too.

And did I mention, when he wants something he yells?  He yells his crazy babble… it’s hysterical.  He doesn’t know how to talk, but he knows how to accomplish the emotion behind it!

So this morning Maddie asks me, “mom, what’s a Nard Box?”  Nard Box?  I said Maddie, I don’t know what that is!  She said, you know mom- the animal that lives in the little shell,  a Nard Box?  I said oh an Aardvark?  How funny is that?  By the way did YOU know Aardvark has two “a’s?”  I had no idea!

See- thanks to my four year old, I now know how to spell Aardvark!

This weekend we have a lot going on.  I have to work at my store, Darlings & Divas tomorrow and we have  a birthday party from 2-4.  Saturday night we’re meeting good friends for dinner; we weren’t able to go to their wedding so we’re taking them out!  We’ll be checking out Perfect Mundo in Commack.  It was recently named by Newsday to be one of the top 10 restaurants of 2010 and received a three-star review.  I’ll be sure to post MY review next week!  Even if the food is so-so, I’m totally looking forward to hanging with my friends and having some sangria.. YUM!

Tonight, as long as the snow isn’t THAT bad, I’ll be meeting my step sister (or NB- “non-biological”) for drinks and sushi at Aji 53 in Bayshore.  I really like Aji 53.  From all the sushi I’ve had on Long Island, it’s the closest to Nobu quality I’ve found (and boy, do I like Nobu- for my 35 birthday husband and I spent $350 on dinner for two there… yes, you read correctly- $350.00!!!).

Sunday is the day I’m super excited about- I got two tickets to Disney Princesses on ice for Maddie.  She has no idea I’m taking her!  I’m so excited- she’s going to have so much fun!

So, what are your plans for the weekend?

The American public LOVES their entitlement programs- Social Security and Medicare.  They also love the funding they get from the Feds that flows into their states:  money for schools, roads, “earmark” projects that are labeled “wasteful” at the Federal level but are oftentimes very useful at the local level. I am wondering, beyond dismantling “ObamaCare”, which won’t SAVE any money out of the Federal budget, what the Tea Baggers are going to do?

Whatever they slash- people are going to be really ticked off… they TALK the talk… but when it comes down to losing government programs they consider “vital”.. well, lets see what happens!

I have the tendency to get really crazy and uptight about this stuff- it actually can bring me to tears because I just don’t understand people…. I can’t figure out if they don’t like “ObamaCare”.. what the alternative is?  Just because they are the lucky-few to have excellent employer-sponsored health care NOW doesn’t mean it always will be the case.  They can get fired or let go.. or, more likely, the Company they work for, faced with rising health care costs, will switch to a high-deductible plan.

I’m taking the attitude that whatever DOES happen.. well, as a country, we’ll be OK- because this type of thinking sort of cycles around..

well.. I hope.

So, how do I measure the quality of the year 2010 that I lived, faced with so much sadness?  If I were to be able to sit down and talk to my grandfather right now, I think I’d tell him that, even though there was so much sadness, that 2010 was a happy year.  I started the year with an absolutely adorable little boy in my arms, and ended the year the same way.

I made many new friends- great friends!  I count myself lucky to actually be able to make new, great friends at 35 years old!

We took a few great vacations and day trips- and were lucky enough to take Madeline and Joel on their first visit to Disney World.

I opened a new business that, I think, is the culmination of a life-long dream!

Maddie started pre-K and is getting to be such a “big girl” and sophisticated!

Joel’s walking!

Many of my friends added to their own families with adorable babies- Annabel & Penny immediately come to mind- and some babies are still in the oven and will certainly bring lots of joy in 2011!

I have a feeling that 2011 is going to be so much better than 2010- and if the joys of 2010 is any indication of what is to come, I’m super excited to see what 2011 has in store.

Five days ’til the big day and I still have so much to do:  shopping, wrapping, baking… and I wonder why all of this HAS to be done?  Why do we have to buy presents for every person we ever said “hello” to?  Why do we have to over indulge our children with presents they probably wont’ play with for more than 5 minutes anyway?

In the middle of all of this I have 2 sick kids.. and I think, all I really want to do is leisurely bake a dozen or two cookies with my daughter instead of feeling obligated to bake 16 dozen for my husband’s co-workers- packaged and bowed!

Between working six days a week, and dealing with all of these obligations, my patience is worn down to an all time low.  I feel horrible and mean-spirited when I snap at my children and my mother so lovingly told me that I’m, “going down in a ball of flames” (thanks for the vote of confidence… sheesh).

I wonder, when did it happen that I felt the need to be perfection for everyone.. and at what point did I lose myself and my own sense of happiness in the process?  In general, I feel like a happy person, but then I become ridiculously overwhelmed by the ever-growing lists of things to be accomplished and I wonder- why do I even NEED to accomplish all this “stuff”?  Can I just be the type of person (mother/wife) that does NONE of it?  Like the people me and my family make fun of because they do none of it?  But THEY seem a lot more better off right now than I!!!

Has anyone out there cut down on the “stuff” in an attempt to find themselves and make themselves happier (and heck, sane?)…

I have two options- I need to lower everyone’s expectations of me or I’m going to have to medicate myself to get through it all… which way to go?

I most certainly would not have gotten pregnant with Joel because I am sure I wouldn’t have the time off and understanding to undergo all the medical testing and treatments, all of which took countless hours.

I know I wouldn’t have my current business, Darlings & Divas.  I wouldn’t have had the time or energy to cultivate it, and I probably wouldn’t have even known when the opportunity presented itself.

When I was fired I felt betrayed, sad and hurt.  I had just celebrated my fifth anniversary with my employer and I wasn’t even given a severance when I was let go because I refused to sign a bogus separation agreement.  It was a pretty scary time, but it gave me the fortitude to look for opportunities that would allow me to spend time with my family and have a harmonious balance between work and home.

Sure, now that I’m doing my own thing, I feel like I NEVER stop.. but you know what?  I’m doing it with my husband and kids at my side.  Even though it’s hard, I wouldn’t trade it for the WORLD!

To all you unemployed out there, I know it’s so scary- but keep your chin up and know that everything does, in fact, happen for the reason.  The universe, God, higher power, or whatever you call it, knows where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing even if you don’t!  Have faith that it will all come together, because it will!

It was such a long road to get to Joel; doctor’s visits, many disappointments, tons of blood work and needles, prodding and poking.  I had such an amazing drive to get pregnant again- it was as if our two souls already knew each other and were fighting to reconnect.  I would do it all again in an instant- all the pain and craziness.  I don’t wish fertility problems on anyone- they’re so emotionally exhausting.   I think that’s what most people don’t understand- the day-to-day emotional toll, the toll on your marriage, and your relationship with others.  But here we are, one year later- so happy as a family of four, I can’t even remember what life was like with 3, let alone with just John & I!

Joel didn’t have a big birthday party like Maddie did- just immediate family and friends I’ve known for so long, the boundary between friendship and family had long since blurred.  But, like my little guy- it was a sweet and intimate celebration!

One fun thing I DID do was get him cupcakes and a smash cake  made my Long Island’s own Cupcakes Catering!  Lauren outdid herself- I asked her for vanilla cupcakes with an airplane theme and she outdid herself.  Her cupcakes are not just something pretty to look at- they are DELICIOUS!  I don’t know what she puts in the cake, but they’re moist and light-as-air!

I highly recommend all you mommies and daddies out there to get your lil’ ones a smash cake!  It was so much fun to watch Joel go crazy with the cake.  At fist, he wasn’t sure what to make of it, and took dainty bites.  But then- oh boy!  He realized how much fun it was to smash up and launch all over the house (much to the dog’s delight)!

And now, onto Christmas!  So much shopping to do!  I think Christmas morning with children is one of the most fantastic times of year.  Their excitement- the light in their eyes… life isn’t any better than that.  Money cannot buy the joy and happiness of a Christmas morning with young children! This year I’m going to even put together breakfast the night before, so all I have to do is pop it in the oven and we’ll be ready to just chill out, watch the parade, and play with all the new toys!